Post the classic global chat jokes and stories.  We need an archive of them so they can never be forgotten and can be passed down the generations.


==Smorfin Move==
One day we found out KingSmorfin is rather flexible.  And he can suck his own dick.  Literally.  From that day on we made fun of him for this fact.  And performing extra flexible acts from then on became known as the Smorfin Move.  He at first was annoyed with us but soon embraced it.

==Vinesweeper is a great way to train farming==
The way I remember it:  Blackarchr wanted to know how to train farming.  We trolled him, using the quick chat "Vinesweeper is a great way to train farming." over and over.  It was more than spamming it, and after he left the chat we continued it in his pm.  This is what made EMG Blue leave the chat.  If anyone else remembers other details, post them here.

==I pee while sitting==
One day in the early days of Ventrillo Rob (cowtaol, and a few other names) admitted to pee while sitting.  He claimed it was more natural and better for your bowels.  We never let him forget it.


==Mr T's Lama==
Mr T always got made fun of for spelling his name wrong.  For ages and ages it was the only thing we would really say to him.  Shad, Cyrus, War and I were particularly hard on him about it.  Then came the name change update.  Some time later Mr. T got a name change.  He changed his name to include the word 'lama'.  Unfortunately for him, lama is not a word, but llama is.  From Ventrillo I think it was Shad who noticed it first.  "Did Mr. T change his name?  Oh my god he spelled llama wrong."  Hilarity ensued.  We never let him forget.

==Logans 99 hitpoints party==
There I was, moments away from 99 hitpoints.  I stood at the gate to Lumbridge castle, waiting for the other members of Global Chat to show up and watch me achieve my goal on a level 2 man.  As I waited Decorofeelin watched.  She left momentarily.  In my boredom I decided to kill a level 2 man, forgetting that in doing so I would get 99 Hitpoints.  It was too late.  I got 99 Hitpoints with nobody watching, but soon a crowd of people would be here to watch me.  I had to think fast.  I was about 10k experience from my next thieving level.  I had a plan.  I left the area and quickly trained my thieving down to one pickpocket away from my next thieve level.  I teleported to Lumbridge with the crowd waiting.  I told them to get their messages ready.  Quickly I ran up to a man, pick pocketed him then killed him.  The fireworks from my thieving level were smaller than the ones from any 99 skill, but the mass messages saved my cover.  I had done it.  I had convinced people I got 99 hitpoints when in fact I got a plain thieving level.

Shad was ranked up while muted.

=Esh is pregnant=
Esh is definitely pregnant, that's why she doesn't play Runescape anymore.

=I believe i have an airstaff in my posession=
As recalled from Vent yelling, Caitlin was on Fishville and as she clicked back to the Runescape window she had seem to died, she spammed a chat a few and asked if anyone had an air staff because she doesn't use runes to teleport instead an air staff. Kitty responded with "I believe I have an airstaff in my possesion" We call cracked up laughing in vent and tease her till this day.

=Durza being 12=
Whether Durza denies it or not he will remain 12 forever.

Dev's false fetus
Green botted
=Try looking in the game guide.=
A quickchat line commonly rephrased when someone asked a simple question that they should known as general knowledge.

=chaig=
A typo made by Warillusen in an attempt to threaten someone and was use to mock his English because he is very asian.

=pures are weak=
A Cyrus phrase adopted by others as a response to pures and their stupid choice on character training.

Overdose? more like Uglydose.

=Shadows Farming Guide=
A very serious way to train farming. http://services.runescape.com/m=forum/c=LlJHdX8UorM/sl=0/forums.ws?98,99,589,61678897

=Heh... hi=
During the old MSN days with the drawing feature, we'd usually start a group conversation and start drawing random stuff. Half the time we'd draw something and then mocking at Kingbraydo since he'd date anyone because he's a stupid asshat we'd put a picture of somewhat representing him next to whatever was drawn.


Welcome to maternity ward
=Cereal and milk=
We used Zybez's public Ventrilo servers and there were user limited channels and it was a way for us to communicate we were moving up a limit or down a limit. Cereal being up and Milk being down.

rhombus
one woman kitchen

=Text to Speech Spam=
khghkghkhgkhgkhgkhgkghkgh
cookcookcookcookcookcookcookcookcook

=high five=
Proceed to smash at your microphone while having push to talk on to signify you're high fiving

=chiselled black abs=
the man, the legend Pengiun98 himself

no one cares if you die
'60s night

=strykepenises=
Strykewyrms are just dicks

='heim=
When you recall a memory in Dungeoneering you say, "Back in 'heim"

=dungeoneering dictionary=
An incomplete dictionary for items in 'heim like Marmaros being Mars bar metal, Gorgonite being deepthroat ore because it sounds like deep throating when you say the name.

=heeeeeeey...=
After 48 hours of no sleep, War walked to his kitchen and he heard a soft whispering "heeeey.." from his floor boards

=The Lunch=
At a certain point in every Englishmen's day, they all gather in one place to have The Lunch. This was especially shown when Van and Owen would leave the chat at the same time and head off for The Lunch.

=shut up paky=
Shad got shit on one time by a random person in 'heim because he looked like a Pakistani man with his brown skin and black wild spikes

I believe I have an air staff in my possession
manline
say what I type
do you squirt or dribble
is it weird having boobs?
your hands

=clue scroll (hard)=
Pronounced, Clue Scroll in normal tone then whisper in brackets (hard)

bass riff
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel
not just any spider/daytime spider
HANS SMASH/HANS FEAST
hygiene skill
mcguyver skill
intelligence skill
It's time for you to stop... Melting.
Fire, death and brimstone
Teleport to Cyrus!
soul altar
*pun noise*
we'll all die when Shad gets 99 slayer
Slayer!
IMAGINATION!/Why is your name so loud?
Where's wari?
diabetes from sniffing flowers
superman's gills
face looking right
Overload and turmoil

=VICTORIOUS=
Age of Empire II victories had to be shouted for the world to know.

having a Zheph moment
Buck
Strength hits more
pure alcohol, behind the school, dad is mayor of the world, opera house, guitar
This lube is my blood

=wshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh=
A blackhole is hidden beneath a granite noob's dmed

=Ikitahi. Tukusukunuku. Hakibakitakilakipaki. Wokiwotiwoliwofi. Guhituhiluhipuhijuhiguhi. Dafitafilafihafirafiwafikafi. Utuku su=
The Occult Floors of Daemonheim were incredibly racist.

Shad or war is ownear

=Esh is pregnant=
Spreading rumours facts is hard, she's still pregnant till this day.

=zacman is carrying this team=
During the times when we did clan wars, zacman at one point said he had to leave to go to bed. Shad told him that he was carrying this team, he stayed on for longer because of Shad's unsarcastic, genuine and sincere words that was placed upon Zacman's value of life.

=Uglydose=
For some reason Overdose had a period at some point and Nick said the line, "Overdose, more like Uglydose"

Tppskid
Become range
American man is funny
No one understands me ((((((((((
It's what you get
The Rhythm

=Banjo boogaloo!=
If Shad's videos weren't private, the miner's go forth would be linked, right 'ere.
EDIT: here it is. - Shad

=California has more beaches than America=
It sure does.

=Fucking Fidde=
Fidde crashing the server every fucking time he's on. jesus fucking christ dude.

=The Single/Double/Triple Dye Club=
How many dyes from clue scrolls have you gotten punk?




These are the titles to some, the stories behind them will be added later.

Overdose? more like Uglydose.

Shadow's farming guide

Durza being 12
Dev's false fetus
4zn botted
Try looking in the game guide.
chaig
pures are worthless
Edit:
Green botted

I'll make a note to this thread and everytime we tell a story of the past I'll try to dictate it on here.

Shad was ranked up while muted.

Also

There have been so many that we possibly couldn't find them all, but I'll try put together the ones I remember soon.

Old list of vent jokes found on my laptop:


Heh... hi
Welcome to maternity ward
Cereal and milk
rhombus
one woman kitchen
khghkghkhgkhgkhgkhgkghkgh
cookcookcookcookcookcookcookcookcook
high five
chiselled black abs
no one cares if you die
'60s night
strykepenises
'heim
dungeoneering dictionary
heeeeeeey...
The Lunch
shut up paky
I believe I have an air staff in my possession
manline
say what I type
do you squirt or dribble
is it weird having boobs?
your hands
clue scroll (hard)
*swings chaig*
bass riff
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel
not just any spider/daytime spider
HANS SMASH/HANS FEAST
hygiene skill
mcguyver skill
intelligence skill
It's time for you to stop... Melting.
Fire, death and brimstone
Teleport to Cyrus!
soul altar
*pun noise*
we'll all die when Shad gets 99 slayer
Slayer!
IMAGINATION!/Why is your name so loud?
Where's wari?
diabetes from sniffing flowers
superman's gills
face looking right
Overload and turmoil
VICTORIOUS
having a Zheph moment
Buck
Strength hits more
pure alcohol, behind the school, dad is mayor of the world, opera house, guitar
This lube is my blood
wshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ikitahi. Tukusukunuku. Hakibakitakilakipaki. Wokiwotiwoliwofi. Guhituhiluhipuhijuhiguhi. Dafitafilafihafirafiwafikafi. Utuku su
Shad or war is ownear
Esh is pregnant
zacman is carrying this team
Uglydose
Tppskid
Become range
American man is funny
No one understands me ((((((((((
It's what you get
The Rhythm
Banjo boogaloo!
California has more beaches than America

I was looking for that list, I guess I didn't transfer it from my old computer.

I miss a lot of stuff from my old laptop.

can someone tell me the proper way to say "slayer!"?

"!!!!!!"

WE FORGOT STRAYA DAY

Nah mate, that's on the 26th of January.

Updated like four stories, edit my post or post the story here and I'll add it to the first post.

To this day, you hold the ore of Esh's 99 Mining.

I went through some of them and added some definition, feel free to tell me if some information are wrong.

Warillusen wrote:I went through some of them and added some definition, feel free to tell me if some information are wrong.

Warillusen wrote:feel free to tell me if some information are wrong.

Warillusen wrote:if some information are wrong.

<_<

Fucking hell war your definition of heh...hi

Well he is.

merry Christmas



Also does anyone remember when Dav's brother ate a mint cake infront of Tppskid?

I seem to remember something about Toilet Paper Princess or something along those lines?

I thought the vinesweeper joke was that Emmy disagreed with Vinesweeper being a good way to train farming (it was a horrible way to train farming) and made her angry so people would link it to troll her.

I think Cowtaol just said that he'd heard that you drain your bladder more by sitting down while peeing, so everyone thought it was funny to say he sat while peeing.

Didn't Mr T spell nearly all of his usernames wrong?

I've been trying to sift through some of my old MSN conversations where we drew pictures and stuff (which has been insanely difficult aside from the fact they're an unordererd pile of files spanning about 10 years) and found a few which might have some of our more classic conversations. I think I found one which was one of the first group msn convos we ever had. Will try to work out where a few more of them are and how to link them efficiently, as some are buried in between private convos with people so I can't link the whole file.

This is a link to some of the files:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/70uwynnu9jgvssj/p9L_74YmpD
Hopefully it'll work.

edit: oh I seem to remember Luke (Jungll) wanting to have sexy times with a blue avatar alien.
Also the whole massive/shiny forehead thingo.

Hehe, that's right we edited his Avatar fan thread a bunch.

Also trying to decipher those word documents are impossible.

Christ, I wish I still have my chat logs, I'm surprised you kept the same computer since then.

I can't find my Shadow-Forger fan fiction. I think it's somewhere on one of the forums' spam threads. (ie Will never be found.)

Drawn by Esh, 11:29PM, 25th January 2010

I think this should be your new avatar.

Princess wrote:Hehe, that's right we edited his Avatar fan thread a bunch.

Also trying to decipher those word documents are impossible.

Christ, I wish I still have my chat logs, I'm surprised you kept the same computer since then.

I actually went into the admin on the forums to edit the language filter to say something obscene wherever Jungll's name came up or Avatar was mentioned. Jungll would try to edit out what he thought was me editing his posts.

I don't actually have the same computer, but each time I did a hard drive wipe or xferred to a new hard drive, my msn files were one of the things that got moved over. The downside is though that I used to just throw them all in the same folder thus the jumbling.
I've had a nightmare of trying to run the files again though. Some could only be run with the MSN plus! addon, and I couldn't find a legit version on msn to download because microsoft or w/e don't do it anymore; they integrated it with Skype. The rest though are xml files that can be opened in a web browser.